Family history...

Whilst visiting grannies on Friday for a 'coffee'. Or what she considers coffee, which to any other person I think is dinner. Correct me if I am wrong but our 'coffee' consisted of, fried beef, rice, plantain and arepa. 

Anyway, while I gobbled up everything grannies served we had our usual conversation about my dad and how irresponsible he is. This is the hot topic at grannies and what if anything has changed his end. This time round we ventured into my dads past or to be precise his parents. It started as an innocent chat trying to understand or excuse my dads way of being.  I am aware the my dad's dad is a man of no scruples and someone I could hold no respect for. He rejected my father from the moment he was born without rhyme or reason but, this is only one heartless thing I know of him. 

My grannie spoke to me of my dad's actual mother, Alicia, and how she fell in love with a man that very quickly showed his true nature. He was no stranger to getting drunk and quickly left Alicia for one of her close friends. By this time they had a little boy, Miguel. I am unsure if my dad was already around as I know nothing of my dads family and whether he was the youngest, oldest or of how many. But I will tell it as grannie did. 

So he fell in love with this other woman who was married herself, along the way he ended up in prison for stealing. My grannie can still recall their anger (her and her parents) at Alicia finding the largest piece of beef and making it for him with frijoles and rice. You have to understand even now beef is a luxury so a large piece could have gone a long way. Every time she visited him in prison with a box of food under her arm she would find his lover there visiting too. In a burst of fury her son would suffer all the repercussions, if he cried she would throw him on the bed or aggressively stick the baby bottle in his mouth and not let him take it out.  Once out of prison her husband would call on her for 'company' whenever he was drunk and the other woman was unable to join him. Alicia could never say no to his requests and gran is sure she never stopped loving him though she could never understand why. 

Much later when Alicia lay in bed in agony due to a cancer that had caused her to be burned inside, I imagine in those days that was the treatment, grannie remembers she asked Alicia if there was anything she wanted to drink. All Alicia wanted was milk, something she was never given by the other family members as it made changing her and the bed that much worse. My grannie did everything to make her sister more comfortable knowing that the moment she returned to London this would cease. When Alicia's time was almost up my gran asked the family to ask her if she wanted to see her husband before she passed away. It may seem a crazy thing but she knew how Alicia felt and she felt she would have wanted to see him. They never asked her and he never came. 

She told me with tear stained eyes that by the time she visited her sister looked way beyond the grave sadly she lasted more than a year after that, trapped in bed screaming in agony. I can't imagine the suffering she endured. 

I found this a very sad tale, I couldn't help but wonder if Alicia had any happy moments in the path her life took. She was naive to stick by her husband but I don't feel able to judge, I can't comprehend why a woman would not just prefer to be alone. These were different times and as she is no longer here we will never understand her side of the story.

P.S. Sorry it's another sad one. Monday is no better than Friday for negative/sad tales. I think my blog needs much more Joie de vivre or I should have given it a completely different name. oppps