I have been contemplation doing a writing course for a while now and it just so happens that this morning I received an email from Morley updating me on the up and coming courses. There in front of me was a starting creative writing course.
I looked at it, and looked again, read it then re read it. I mulled over it in between doing my work, I consulted by husband and my mother. I thought about it more, then a bit more. But now it's booked!
I feel slightly sick, butterflies in my tummy, panic and fear of embarrassment. I immediately started to think, why did I do this? I will be ridiculed in front of these strangers, I will be asked exactly what made me think I could do it. I will be thrown out for being completely idiotic. I will be made to feel a fool for even thinking for a split second that I could be among people with creativity. I know realistically these things are unlikely to happen but I will be honest in my head the heckling and cackling has already started.
To become a butterfly you have to give up being a caterpillar, if you want to change things you have to leave your comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteJust say f*k it and enjoy ridiculing yourself, go there for making a fool out of yourself, don't be stiff, don't try to protect your dignity. Go and crush your armour, be a fool be stupid, and don't be afraid of what other people might think about you actually make sure that they think! that you are stupid crazy and all those things that you are afraid of appearing like... Be free and enjoy your freedom, stop staring from that cliff, just jump and get over with it! Be crazy baby be crazy!!!!!
OMG HAL IS THAT YOU? THAT IS A LOVELY PUSH SO MUCH THAT I DONT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY, APART FROM ENJOY IT. IT IS NOT A COMPETITION NO ONE IS GETTING MEDALS YOU JUST DOING WHAT WANTED TO DO FOR A LONG TIME! JUST RIDE IT BABES
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